“At once Jesus had His followers get into the boat. He told them to go ahead of Him to the other side while He sent the people away. After He had sent them away, He went up the mountain by Himself to pray. When evening came, He was there alone. By this time the boat was far from land and was being thrown around by the waves. The wind was strong against them.
Just before the light of day, Jesus went to them walking on the water. When the followers saw Him walking on the water, they were afraid. They said, “It is a spirit.” They cried out with fear. At once Jesus spoke to them and said, “Take hope. It is I. Do not be afraid!”
Peter said to Jesus, “If it is You, Lord, tell me to come to You on the water.”
Jesus said, “Come!” Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water to Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind, he was afraid. He began to go down in the water. He cried out, “Lord, save me!” At once Jesus put out His hand and took hold of him. Jesus said to Peter, “You have so little faith! Why did you doubt?”
When Jesus and Peter got into the boat, the wind stopped blowing. Those in the boat worshiped Jesus. They said, “For sure, You are the Son of God!” (Matthew 14:22-33 NLT)
I read this passage and think, “how could Peter doubt Jesus?” I mean he saw with his own eyes, Jesus walking on water! I proceed to think, “that would never be me.” However, if I’m honest, that is me in most difficult circumstances. When the storm comes, I look to the waves. I look to the raging sea and begin to drown in the depths of it all.
If I’m overwhelmed, I panic—I retreat, or avoid, or distract. And then I sink, weighed down by the heaviness of life.
It was when Peter began to look at the waves around him, that he started to sink. When we try to carry the weight of our hurt, our broken, we sink. There is something so beautiful here though. When Peter took his first steps on the water, he was looking at Jesus. When we look at the wind and waves we sink because they are bigger than us. But, when we look to Jesus, we walk on water because He is greater than the wind and waves.
For me, the storm that tries to steal my focus is depression. It is a struggle that has brought me much confusion, anger and shame. And, I find it quite easy to revert to shame. It feels as though I’ve created a gap between myself and God. I quickly get distracted by the wind as it whips my head downwards at the raging sea under my feet. It feels so out of my control that I sit and weep. I cry out to God, “Lord, why does it have to be this way? Look at the pain I’m in!” I beg God to take the hurt away.
I have experienced such heartbreak and disappointment, and all I want is to avoid it; I will manipulate my life to do so. Yet, the very place I’m repelled by, God is compelled to move towards.
For the longest time I didn’t understand why my battle doesn’t seem to have an end in sight. I thought it was my fault, I wasn’t close enough to God, I wasn’t praying or worshiping enough. How could I be so in love with Jesus and still struggle? I thought that if I could just get out of the valley, I would be free. The truth is, I don’t know when the storm will stop. But, when I look to Jesus, I walk on water in the midst of the raging waves. And that is the victory! The God of the universe walking with me, strengthening me. I can’t walk without Him.
One night, I was in tears. I had lost sight of my hope. All I could see was the chaos around me. I heard God say, “Heaven is real.” I needed to be reminded of this. There is a hope to cling to when life is heavy, a promise that my brokenness will be restored and a God who came down to hold my hand and pull me up.
If you are struggling with your mental health, my prayer is that you would cling to Hope. You can be surrounded by darkness, but you yourself are not dark. You are radiant with His light. There will be highs and lows, that is how the sea moves, and there is no shame in that. You are enough because HE is enough.
“The way to survive the waves is to keep the beat of your heart in rhythm with the One who walks on water.” – Ann Voskamp
Lillie Bunnett
Reception and Administrative Assistant
