“I’m not going to be religious about it”.
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I second guessed them. It sounded like something I would say. Sounded like something I believed. And yet, something about the phrase gave me pause.
It was the end of the first week of our fast, and Cassandra and I had plans to stay downtown the next week Wednesday to Thursday overnight. We were attending a conference, but we were also using the opportunity for some much needed time away together. We had a hotel booked, we had a babysitter scheduled, and we were planning out the downtime between sessions - dinner in the evening with friends, breakfast the next morning on the beach - only one issue: I was fasting, and based on the fast I had committed to - our dinner and breakfast plans weren’t looking too feasible. My response?
“I’m not going to be religious about it”.
What an enlightened response in the face of a spiritual dilemma, right? I’m a new covenant, not bound by the law, saved by grace, those who the Son sets free are free indeed kind of Christian. Look at me walking in the freedom of my saviour’s sacrifice - wouldn’t he want me to enjoy a night away with my wife four and a half months after we had our second child? Surely we of all people deserved it.
I was rationalizing, and I still don’t know if I was right. Turns out, I didn’t need to find out. Snow fell most of the day Tuesday, into Wednesday, and the overnight forecast looked fairly bleak - so we cancelled our hotel and stayed home. But the words stuck with me as the days went by, and I found myself finding more and more moments, more and more opportunities to second guess the decision I had made. Tempted by plans at Popeye’s with friends. Tempted by my grumbling stomach. Tempted by Lays Salt & Vinegar chips. Am I going to be religious about this? And if I’m not, what’s the point of fasting anyways? If I’m going to give it up on a whim at inopportune moments, then was I even fasting in the first place? And more importantly - what’s the why behind it all? To check a box at the end of each day saying “I did it”?
In the book of Joel - the Israelites, as they so often did, had walked away from God. The traditional, religious response for penitent people of that time was to tear their clothes, don a three-legged race style potato sack, and pour ashes on their heads. It was an outward show of inward repentance. But that’s often all it was - an outward show. God’s response in this moment is telling:
“Yet even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love. Joel 2:12-13
“Rend your hearts and not your garments”. God’s response to his children is clear - I don’t want your outward show if it isn’t accompanied by inward growth. (See Jesus’ awkward encounter with a fig tree in Matt 21:18 for more on this). In other words, if the cart comes first, what’s the point of the horse?
As with all the disciplines we work into our lives as Jesus-followers - if we prioritize the practice without significant thought to the purpose, we’re just being religious about it. But God isn’t opposed to religion, he’s opposed to religion outside of relationship. Outward show, without inward growth. So if I maintain my fast because I’m supposed to maintain my fast, grit my teeth, get through my hunger, and check off another day of deprivation, I’m not going to get anything out of it anyways. But if I maintain my fast and let those questions arise as they will, embrace the rumbly-in-my-tumbly, and sit in the hunger I’ve intentionally created, I might just find that my appetite was not truly for food anyways.
You see, those pangs in my stomach urge me to focus on satiation. The ache behind your eyes as you deprive yourself of caffeine urges you to FIND A SOLUTION. Your restless fingers as they hover over the Instagram app, opening it and closing it repeatedly as you remember, I’m fasting - they urge you to fill the void in your life with things, with interactions, experiences, entertainment and distraction.
God sits in the silence of your room that for 21 days is not set alight by the latest Netflix offering, and bids you come and sit with me. Quench your thirst with living water. Fill your stomach with my spirit and your time with my presence. Seek first my heart and my kingdom and the rest will be added.
Daniel Comrie
Relate Valley Campus Pastor
TODAY’S PRAYER:
DAY 20 - JANUARY 25
Pray for: Our World & Global Church
Matthew 24:14
Pray for God’s rule to invade the earth, on earth as it is in Heaven. Pray for the Church, as the primary agents of God’s Kingdom, to be on mission and growing in influence. Pray for Hillsong Church and Watoto Ministries in Uganda, our international missions. Pray for an increase in labourers to spread the gospel, plant churches and win souls.
