WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN || John Burns
Love that doesn't cost is just a feeling.
Helen and I have been married for over 40 years and I think I have learned a bit about what real love is. I do love my wife more and more every day.
I have three daughters, six granddaughters and five sisters. I love them all and I know how important it is for them to own a clear vision of HOW they should be loved. The vision we have is a powerful driver of the future we will experience. I want them and all women to enjoy the best, so let me help you see what it looks like when a man loves a woman.
So often, love as interpreted in our culture as goose bumps and raging hormones. I totally enjoy the feelings of love but if you’re chasing feelings, you will be on a roller coaster ride and you will never really discover what true lasting love is. Love is a verb and it always costs you.
Love that doesn’t cost is just a feeling.
This is what I see when a man loves a woman:
1. He will love WHY she is before he even meets her.
Every one of us was created with destiny and when his sense of destiny begins to resonate with what’s on the inside of her, something comes alive! The power of synergy erupts and you begin to journey together toward destiny.
2. He will guard his thoughts, words and actions to give his heart and desires to her alone.
We so often are deceived to think we are a victim of our attractions. God has never created a victim. He has created us in His image and given us dominion. It is our choice and a matter of the heart. Jesus taught us to make our heart good and it will make our fruit good (Matthew 12:33). We make our heart good by choosing what thoughts, words, sights and actions we will allow to be planted in the 'garden' of our heart. The fruit we reap is a harvest of desires and feelings.
I want to continually feel in love with my wife and desire to love her even more, so it is worth choosing to guard my heart against anything that would distract me from the one I have committed my love for a lifetime to.
3. He will continually pay the price to continually understand her.
I’ve repeated the word continually because understanding a woman is a never ending quest… and just when you think you have her figured out, she changes! Women have seasons that continually keep them fascinating and beautiful!
I say pay the price because opposites attract and understanding her is always going to require effort, but that cost is what love is all about. The goal of communication is understanding, and intimacy is the journey of the two of you becoming one. That will take the rest of your life and will require an ongoing cost of communicating for the purpose of understanding.
(More to come on this subject... stay tuned!)
John Burns
Senior Pastor
LEGACY || Helen Burns
My heart is still bursting with joy and thankfulness following our 30th Anniversary as a church. So many memories were shared, there was so much laughter and more than a few tears of gratitude were shed.
The word that framed our celebration was legacy and I couldn’t help think about the words of Dr. Lester Sumrall, who spoke into the life of our church in its early days. He was a spiritual hero, and a father in the faith to many, including John and I. I will never forget the last sermon I heard him preach in our church before he died. He was in his mid-eighties and one of the most passionately purposed men I ever met. With such intensity and tears rolling down his wrinkled face, he shared the power of passing on a spiritual sword: to live our lives in such a way that would leave an inheritance of blessing and godliness for generations to follow. I was listening intently that day and his words left a deep and lasting mark on my life.
He said how in the arena of science and technology we have passed on information to future generations, but sadly, when it comes to passing on a legacy–a spiritual sword–we have failed and it seems that each generation must start out by standing on their own. He passionately declared that ‘This is not right – God is a God of generations!’
Your faithfulness is from generation to generation; You have established the earth, and it stands fast. –Psalm 119:90
I will make Your name to be remembered in all generations; therefore shall the people praise and give You thanks forever and ever.–Psalm 45:17
It’s all about ‘Show and Tell’
Show: Let everyone see just how big your God is and invite them to do the same … help direct them to put their eyes on God as their source of life, health, future. What others, especially our children and those we influence need from us is to see true faith in action, not a second-hand faith or meaningless tradition.
Tell: His goodness always on our lips:
“All of your works will thank you, Lord, and your faithful followers will praise you. They will speak of the glory of your kingdom; they will give examples of your power. They will tell about your mighty deeds and about the majesty and glory of your reign.” (from Psalm 78)
Let your love + gratitude for God overflow, and continuously share the WHY behind what you do and what you believe. Share through your:
THOUGHTS – something we know
EMOTIONS – something we feel
ACTIONS – something we do
Share your personal story of how God has been faithful and the work He has done in your life - your testimony is your greatest tool. Let others see God’s grace at work in your life through your story
We connect our others to the God we know by sharing our stories…
Be vulnerable and real. Authentic faith is so appealing. Being preachy turns people away. It’s never about doing life perfectly - that expectation will only set us up to fail. It’s all about letting others see God’s grace at work in our lives.
The people in my life who have impacted me the greatest are the ones who have shared their struggles and their victories with me. My parents, my grandparents, my teachers and personal mentors never made me believe that a life of faith was easy. They let me see their gritty faith at work and always pointed me to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of their faith.
When we see His grace, He sees our faith.
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God. –Ephesians 2:8
Let your life be your example of the amazing goodness of God. As we walk in the way of Life, we become a way of life for others. Your life, built on Him, is the best incentive and motivator for those who follow you to thrive.
• Who has passed on a spiritual legacy to you?
• What would you like to pass on to your children or those who follow you?
Helen Burns
Senior Pastor