"I feel like I'm drowning."
I can't even tell you how many times I have heard this phrase since the beginning of the year from people in my world. I can't even tell you how often I have felt this way myself.
October of last year my husband and I welcomed our 3rd baby girl into our family. Life with 3 kids was surprisingly easy and I could not have felt happier. We returned home from a wonderful Christmas and New Years with the family ready to start the new year but something was different. The air felt heavy, the joy was gone. I looked at my husband and said "I feel like I'm drowning".
One thing after another came at us over the next month and piled on like a weight. The devil seemed relentless in his pursuit to steal my joy, kill my dreams and destroy my future. One morning at 4am while nursing my daughter (for the 4th time that night!) I realized the devil was trying to take me out. I could physically feel him coming at me like a wave, determined to drown me in thoughts of doubt, shame and self harm. Knowing that you can't fight thoughts with thoughts, and truly being able to handle no more, I stood up, baby girl still nursing in my arms and began out loud to take back my ground. I told the devil he could not have my family. I told him I was choosing joy. I rebuked him in the Name of Jesus and told him I would allow no more. It wasn't a complicated confession or prayer. I was honest and firm trusting if I did my part to speak in faith, God would do his part to deliver me. I laid my daughter down to sleep and after pleading the blood of Jesus over my family I went to bed myself.
When I woke the next morning I knew something was different. I was operating in the realm of the supernatural though my day to day tasks had never changed. This time when the devil came at me with his lies and deceitful thoughts it was not a wave I felt but it was as if he was pecking at a glass wall that surrounded me, trying to get in. He could not reach me. There was no crack; no way through the glass. I was covered in the blood of Jesus. I had won.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." - Ephesians 3:20
This verse tells us that God is able to do superabundantly more than we could ever ask or think according to His power that works within us. His power works in us. We have the ability to stand up, right where we are, in whatever we're doing (in my case nursing) and wield the power of God. We have the power to move the mountains that stand in our way; to take our victories. God is willing and waiting to do His part if only we would have the courage to stand and speak.
TARA HUTZAL
